I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
