Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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