I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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