so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Houston, we have a blender
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
