a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my being single is dangerous.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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