Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize