Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I touched a dick in church today
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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