It's like God shit irony all over that family
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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