So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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