And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is my gift to your gina
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
