well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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