Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
