When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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