thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
