im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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