i think my tv is drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
