He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
