epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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