Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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