I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
