Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
