i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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