I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is the high leading the old right now
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
