There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
