A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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