Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
