Nicole vs. Life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
