Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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