Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
