put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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