He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
