I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
