I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize