oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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