Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
