So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
