How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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