No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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