just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
