you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
