Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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