it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
