I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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