My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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