Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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