During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
do herpes really smell.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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