guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
