Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
