THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
