Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize