I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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