I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
