you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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