I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize