he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Such a big mess for such a small penis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
