That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
