Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Are we still banned from the library?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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