She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize