When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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