Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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