Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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