we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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