Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
