Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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