I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
