Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
