Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
