So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize