Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
