The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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