This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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