i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im holly from the hills drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
