K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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