Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
