so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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